“The heaviest thing in the world is an empty pocket.” Yiddish Proverb
Translated to sales: “The heaviest burden a sales rep can carry is being an empty suit.”
It’s happening within many, and I mean many, sales bullpens! Reps complaining about lack of leads, crappy comp plans, too much paperwork, losing deals based on price. You name it, they find something to bitch about.
The chitter-chatter, the moaning and groaning. Why does Bob always get special treatment? Can’t get anyone to return my calls? Our prices are too high! Our competitors are killing us! We don’t get enough support. No one is returning my calls!
Enough already, Oy vey!
Granted, some of the griping may be legitimate, but you’ll never hear sales professionals complain. They’re laser-focused on finding solutions to help achieve their client’s initiatives, goals and dreams.
Jewish Grandmas, Sales Reps and Complaining
Listening to sales reps moan, gripe and bitch reminds me of my younger days and the summers I spent in New York City with my grandparents. The only thing worse than listening to reps complain was experiencing my grandma and three old Jewish ladies playing mah-jongg as they complained about all of their ailments or better yet, talking smack about family members.
For those not of Jewish faith and wondering, “Where is Larry going with all of this?” allow me to humor you with a little twist from an old Jewish comedian Marty Allen.
The Italian grandma says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”
The Scottish grandma says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have Scotch.”
The Russian grandma says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”
The Jewish grandma says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”
Curious, what would a sales rep say? The sales rep says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have leads.” Oy Vey!
Yiddish Words and Sales Reps
The Yiddish language is a wonderful source of rich expressions, especially terms of endearment, complaints and insults. Doesn’t it sound like a day in the life of a sales rep?
Let’s get this party started…
Far gelt bakumt men alts, nor keyn sechel nit.
Money buys everything except common sense. Trust me on this one, if a sales rep could finance common sense they would, oy vey!
KIBBITZ – Walk into many sales bullpen’s from 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. and listen to all the reps chitter-chatter. Hey Bob, did you catch the football scores from the past weekend? Saw a great movie last night, you ought to check it out. Small talk amongst team members is healthy but get to work and stop the kibbitzing! You just lost an hour of productive work time.
SCHMOOZE – Listening to a sales rep schmooze a customer they haven’t seen for quite some time is hilarious. You wouldn’t have to schmooze if you made a conscious effort to maintain a healthy, meaningful and proactive business relationship. This is what sales professionals do best!
TCHATCHKE – All the company branded USB devices, calendars, pens and notepads…stop it, as your customers have enough of your tchatchkes or crapola! Sales professionals continually educate, engage and excite their clients by building rock-solid business relationships; based upon no gift-giving but the gift of giving themselves.
SCHLEP – “I had to schlep through traffic for over two hours for a meeting that lasted only 15 minutes, OY VEY!” Suck it up, sales reps, as this stuff happens. A true sales professional will find a positive twist in those 15 minutes.
NUDNIK – Do not allow your clients to view you as a nudnik, a pain in the ass, nagger and nuisance! Sales reps who consistently bring zero value, take their clients for granted but expect them to continue to do business with them are nudniks. A true sales professional builds a relationship plan and with consistency delivers on their promises.
SHMENDRIK – Seasoned, tenured reps with massively inflated egos who haven’t prospected for months—oops, I meant years—are Shmendriks, fools! I’d love to see the expression on their ego-inflated faces as they are asked to articulate their value proposition they use for opening up new business conversations.
SPIEL – When you meet with a new prospect they don’t want to hear your spiel, that long-winded sales presentation around how great you are, how great your company is and all the promises I know you’ll break. Make it about them! Show them how much you know, why you, and how much you care about them.
Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Oy Vey!
Advice Passed Down From My Grandfather (Zayde)
My grandfather was a self-educated man. He dropped out of school, never making it to high school, to help support his family. He always stressed to me you must have “chutzpah” in order to succeed out in the real world.
My grandfather faced a ton of fears, as do I and as do you. He would tell me, “Each time you face your fears, you make a deposit into your chutzpah account.” The battles in life, whether won or lost, produce more chutzpah. Think about how this can play out for you.
Chutzpah seasoned with charm translates as enthusiasm. Charm strengthened by chutzpah reminds your clients and prospects you have a respectable, professional purpose. Loaded with both, you can win and sell with confidence. Quite frankly, who wouldn’t want that combination?
A Bit of Humor, but From My Heart
I wish all you well. I feel strongly that we can all learn from each other, our heritage, our upbringing, our friends, family and more importantly, our clients.
With this I say…L’CHAIM AND MAZEL TOV!
Let’s all lift up our business glasses full of clients and prospects; now repeat after me… L’Chaim (to life)! Mazel Tov (congratulations) as you continue to develop into the sales professionals I know you all can become.
